And Then We Sang

I walked in the door tired and even a little resistant. The crowd of people closing in on my space annoyed me and made it hard for me to focus on why I was there. Actually I don't think I wanted to be there. The music was good but the more he talked the more I found myself feeling uneasy. The thoughts, even if only partially formed, were running deep-

i want to teach

what is he talking about

what are we doing- did we really walk away from it all

will i ever figure out what's next


I took communion not fully knowing why except that I wanted to remember and honor my Jesus and then we sang......




This is my melody as I walk this new road in life. I am not sure what my life is going to look like but I know it will be beautiful. When I get shaky thinking about how this shift in our life has affected our very identity- our plans- our future I can remember that just as He made beautiful things out of dust He is making me into something beautiful.

I walked out of there not knowing anything for sure.

Well maybe one thing...... He is making me new.

And The Winner is.....

TEXAS!!!!

That's right people we are headed back to Rob's motherland which if you are a Texan is the only land!

We have known for a while that God is calling us into a new season and that season is to start with a sabbatical. Time for us to focus on our family and allow God to reshape things in us. We have been going hard and fast for 10 years and sense God is redirecting us and it's time to slow down long enough to hear His voice. So, we prayed and looked at several places to go and would you believe it was I, yes moi, who suggested Texas. Well, actually it was the Holy Spirit to me then to Rob- but you get the idea. I don't think Rob knew whether to laugh or cry when I suggested it but he finally is allowing himself to believe it.

We have been so blessed in this time here in PA. We have had a chance to be close to some of my family who I didn't live close to growing up so it was fun to get to know each other. The local church here blessed us immensely with an amazing home and friendship. Rob went back to school and I was in a safe place to face the Great Depression and heal from some old wounds.

We are now excited about this new chapter in life that is just around the corner. Excited to see what God is planning for us. All I can say is that I keep feeling like God is saying that it's the missing piece of the puzzle. Oh and how awesome is it that I will be close enough to catch a Beth Moore study live?! Ohhhh and to go back and visit Ecclesia! Oh and let us not forget the fine cuisine that awaits us and helped Houston attain the honor of being the fattest city for several years running! And you know my in-laws can barely contain themselves over the idea of being full time grandparents....lord help us all! ;)

My hearts aches because to be close to Rob's wonderful family means we are far from my precious family. It will be hard to not be a few hours away but rather a few days away but I know God will help comfort those aches when they come- and oh will they come. Especially in the Fall when I long for the crisp air, wonderful clothes and pumpkin patch playing. But I am assured by my TX family that we can find substitutes within a few hours drive- we shall see.

So, please pray for this move. The timing has been real hazy and I currently sit in a house half packed. (Which is driving me bananas!!!!) Our hearts are ready to go but as I said recently God has us doing just a few more laps before He lets us go.

Thanks for listening, Y'all! =)

Seriously?

So, I have been all geared up for this new season God has been preparing for us. He has given me a glimpse of what was to come and a sense that it was not a long way off. So, I began doing what I do best, well in my opinion at least, I began planning and preparing. I made my list and became Rob's favorite pushy little broad. We were and are moving at a high speed to get ourselves ready for the new season we are about to embark upon.

Did you hear that? The sound of tires screeching to a hault? That would be me. Thank you very much. You might have even heard a few choice words come out as well saying what the heck is the holdup? Who is up there holding this thing up? Oh, excuse me sir, I didn't see you. Yes, Father, I will kindly get out of your driver's seat and find my booster seat in the back. Yes, sir, I remember us talking about me staying out of the front seat and how it was not good for me or anyone else for that matter. Um, Father, can I please have my sippy cup as I crawl in the back? Thank you, yes, I love you too!

You get the picture. This is a strange one though- I'll tell you. We are so excited about the new season and we were transitioning pretty smoothly and the only reason I am struggling with this is because I forgot that everything- EVERYTHING- even the good fun stuff happens in His timing and not mine. I am realizing that He has a few more things to do in us and through us before we enter the next season. Perhaps it's time for a Gilgal moment before we watch Him crumble the walls before us like dust. For so long I have longed to reach our Promised Land and I know God has been taking us out of the desert and leading us there and when I stop long enough I can see He is most definitely up to something.

He knows what He is doing and He has every intention of continuing this journey with us but first we have a little business to take care of and being this close to the Promised Land i certainly do not want to fail Him now. He has been so faithful to us and I know whatever is standing between me and the coming season is God planned and so it's all ok.

If Ever There Was A Time.....

There is a reason I named my blog "Are We There Yet?". I am so not patient! I want to hurry up and get to the main event. It's why I hated being engaged and I hated being pregnant the second time around. It's why I am always in a rush and my husband who has legs taller then my whole body has to work to keep up with me. I am always rushing to get to things done. To check things off my list to feel accomplished. I usually don't take much time before I am looking for the next main event to rush off to.

I am not sure if it's just because I am growing up a bit or if it's something the Holy Spirit has been working extra hard to get me to understand. But I am finally realizing that the journey leading up to the main even is just as important as getting it done. It's in the process that I am prepared, pruned, beautified, broken, anticipating and surrendering. Without the journey sometimes the main event leaves me feeling restless or disappointed. It's not near as rich or satisfying as when I allow myself to embrace the journey. And this always rushing to the next main event leaves me no time to rest in what God has just done in me or for me. I get no opportunity to feel the joy and peace that comes with the morning light.

So, here we are ready to embark on a new season of change and I am working real hard to enjoy the journey. To allow Father God to prepare me and the coming season. I am surprised how little anxiety I am feeling about the impending season of change. Out of habit I feel as if I "should" be impatient and I should be freaking out but instead I feel a peace knowing that My Father hears me and He rescues me (Psalm 55:17)

The hardest part of this transition season is knowing where He is leading us and longing for it but then having to wait until He works out the details. My heart is already in the next season while my body is still in the old. So, as much as I want to say, Are we there yet? Are we?Are we? I am choosing to embrace what He is doing in us right now and letting everything else to Him.

Passing Through

I was due any day and I was rather large. In fact the doctor said I was measuring generously. I was so ready to welcome Samuel into this world and be done with the pregnancy. That's when it happened- that's when I saw a truck full of migrant workers pull up to the trailer next to ours and begin tumbling out on to my lawn. There were 100s of them- ok maybe I am exaggerating a little but it sure felt like there were 100s of them. Somehow they were all supposed to live in the double wide trailer that was only 20 feet away from my home.

We had already dealt with the drug using neighbors on one side and the revolving door of drunken men on the other side and gotten somewhat used to the booming bass zooming past our house at all hours of the day and night, but this pushed me over the edge. My in laws watched me as I completely unraveled and panicked as I watched this all unfold literally right outside my window. I was a mess!

Once my ever calm and loving hero of a husband got the low down on the situation and my in laws got some food in my ever growing body I was able to regain my composure and stop panicking. I guess I should say at this point that I don't have anything against migrant workers per se. My panic was based on the fact that the other trailers full of migrant workers were loud from drunk men partying and a little creepy as the men stared you down as you drove by- even when I was so swollen I looked like I might explode.

So, anyway, it all worked out and I even made an attempt to be neighborly and brought over some groceries to the women and children who lived there. As I continued to give the situation over to God and plead with Him to rescue me from the hell I lived in, other wise known as a trailer park, I became really interested in the life of migrant workers. One day Father God showed me that soon these hard working people would be moving on from the blackberry harvest to the next field of produce ready for the picking. I saw that these people- mostly young men but some older and some were complete families were living here but this wasn't home. They knew it was a temporary home. A place to rest and enjoy while there but that they were only there to do a job and nothing else. It wasn't for them to get involved with the happenings of that town or for them to invest too much in the trailer they were living in for the season. They knew it was temporary and everything would soon change for them.

Then it hit me- I am a migrant worker. I have been called by God to go where the harvest is. To keep myself ready to go when my season is up. To enjoy where I am but never get so attached to any one place that I can not get up and go where He is sending me. This was so liberating! Rob and I had moved quite a bit up to that point and I had always felt the need to explain why to people and make excuses. But no more! I realized that were doing exactly what God had for us. For some people their harvest season may be longer and keep them in one place longer but for us He had us going several places. We had several harvests to tend to.

So, now I work to remind myself of those migrant workers laying all over my "yard". The ones who made themselves at home but knew they were only passing through. I am enjoying where God leads us but I know it's only for a season. I am to go where He sends me and when He sends me. I am only passing through and where I live is only a place to lay my head as I get about working on the harvest! I am looking forward to the day I get to return home with my Father God.