Just Another Churchy Word?

You know those words that float around the Christian community- the words that we all jump on as if they are so profound and so cutting edge that everyone begins using them for everything and soon they lose the original intended meaning? You know words like- Organic and Relational and let us not forget Post Modern or Emerging. Lately I hear the word community alot. "We are a community", "I am looking for community", "It's all about Community" Community, community community....

Well, I am learning a new lesson and that is that community is a choice. We have, for the first time, walked into a church as complete strangers and being who we are we are looking for community....I know I know there's that word again. Let me tell you - this is hard! Not because the people are cold or exclusive or even suspicious. In fact we have found our way into a small group (aka Missional Community) full of really great people. People who are choosing to rearrange their schedule and their norm to make sure we (as in Rob and I) not only feel welcome but that we belong. But it's hard because we are building these relationships for no other reason except to know them and be known and to become a (drum roll please) community.

Being relational has never been an issue for Rob and I. We have always worked really hard to build real meaningful relationships wherever we went and we have always been genuine in doing so, but this is different. No one will notice whether we build these relationships or not. No one will be affected by our choice. I mean, we aren't in a position that demands relationship. We are now incognito and that means it is a choice. A choice to love and be loved. A choice as to whether we want to build these deep real relationships with these people. These beautiful people who love God and each other.

I have found myself judging the people in my new small group before I even really know them and what I am realizing is that it's not them but it's me. I am so scared to show them who I am and share where I have been. Why??? I have no idea! I think it has to do with knowing that this is for real and it's for me. In the past I think I have built relationships for the other person and not for me.

So, I am being gently corrected by Father God to quit judging and putting up walls and begin opening myself up because this idea of community is much much more than another cool word. It's what it's all about. It's loving people and being loved. It's knowing people and being known. It's growing, it's learning, it's teaching, it's praying, it's living, it's so so much more than just another churchy word!

For You Amanda!

We found it! Wouldn't you know it was the place we actually visited first. I really didn't blog about that place because I didn't know what to say about it at first. After last night we know it's the place for us. The funny thing is that God started leading us to this place back in 2003 when we lived in New Hampshire.


It was the day we closed the doors on the little church that was supposed to be our first pastorate. We were there for 4 tedious months. A pastor friend called us up and invited us to a local concert and dinner since he knew that it was going to be a rough day for us. So that night we heard for the first time The Robbie Seay band. We bought up as many CDs as we could and listened the heck out of all of them. It was reaching us in the raw places and we couldn't get enough. I then started reading the book Aqua Church by Leonard Sweet in which he highlighted several different churches around the country. One of them was a church in Houston that I kept telling Rob- I want to go there! I felt such a draw to that place.


I finally did get to visit that church and it felt like home. Some nights I would just sit there and cry because I was overwhelmed. Fast forward a few years and that church planted another church. Ecclesia Clear Lake and that is where we find ourselves today. Similar sense of coming home and we are so looking forward to building relationship with this group of people.

Sorry, But No....

So our search continues. We have visited with two church groups since we arrived and we are already learning so much about this process. When we started we didn't know how we would clearly know where we belong. We didn't feel right about a firm checklist but there are a few things we are looking for while keeping ourselves open.

1. A place for our kids. Not just a place to stick them so mommy can have a break (although that is nice!!!!!) but a place where are our kids can be around other children and adults who love Jesus and are learning to grow more like Him. (Of course Rob and I realize and embrace that our kids are being discipled by us and what they get in these gatherings is just extra.)
2. We want to find a community full of life. A group of people who want to grow and are actively pursuing Father God.
3. A place where small groups, home groups, life groups (you get the picture) are the core of the church experience.
4. A place where the pastor is one of the body and not the set apart leader- per se.
5. This one is not a necessity but a preference for me....I am pretty put off by the NEED for a building or a NEED to grow a church so stuff like that irks me.

Yesterday's experience was pleasant. The kids had fun, the songs we sang were moving but we both had a feeling of been there done that and don't want to do it again. We probably would have given the place another try, if nothing else we have some friends who go there, but the kiss of death was the way they approached small groups.

They made an announcement, well several announcements, that this was the LAST Sunday to sign up for small groups. We thought that was strange- how can it be the last day? Maybe they need to order books? huh? So, after the gathering I went up to the friendly couple manning the sign up table and told them it was our first Sunday and we weren't quite ready to commit to a small group. I asked her if it was REALLY the last Sunday or could we jump in later after we knew if this was for us. I was ready for them to say sure, you can jump in any time but, no. Her response, I kid you not, was "No, sorry you would have to wait." I asked her how long the sessions were and she said 10 weeks! 10 weeks! Two and a half months! For 10 weeks I would have to wait before joining these groups that they themselves said was the best way to get connected. I guess they aren't too concerned about everyone getting connected? Well, that sealed the deal for us- we saw that for them these groups are a program and not part of who they really are.

On a side note, Rob is LOVING the guest parking these places have. I find it a bit embarrassing or obnoxious to use them but Rob is all about the perks.

They did not just say that!

In a land full of churches you would think it would be easy to find a gathering of believers that you can connect and worship with. So, I hopped online to look at some websites. Before I go any further let me just say you can learn a lot and nothing all at once by looking at these websites. I mean, I learned alot about one place that had on it's opening page- "Help us pay down our $2,100,000 debt"! I kid you not it said that! I learned that it was not the place for us! Two million dollars for a building! Just think what they could have done with that money to actually make a difference in this world! Ugh- it really disgusts me when ....oh wait never mind I will save that for another time. But for as much as you learn on these sites there is still so much you can't learn until you walk in the door. Like, do these people really want to know Father God, how do they view the church, do they care more about getting a building or being the hands that serve the lost? So, that is what my family and I have begun doing. Looking for a group of believers to gather with.


This is so foreign for us. We have NEVER had to look for a place to worship, but we are now and it's an interesting process. So, I thought I would blog about this journey. This quest to find a place for us to gather. I literally could blog non stop for a full year and still be left with churches we haven't gotten to in this area. There are so many different churches here- well not many Catholic churches but a few. Anyway, I think it's pretty safe to say that we won't have to visit that many churches to find where God wants us. There are some that we just know are not for us- not now - hopefully not ever. So, let's see how this goes.