Boogers and All

On a recent shopping trip with my Mother in Law (who I am so thankful to have in my life) I was sharing some thoughts about my daughter. My Malinda who has so captured my heart I believe our bond is much greater than most mothers and daughters(don't we all think this!). After all she is the one I longed and prayed and waited for for so long! Isn't she the one Father God showed me in a dream even before I knew she existed? Isn't she the one who has been described as an extension of myself? She is my sweet girl- my sweet girl who is way too much like her mama for her own good!

So often I find myself being hard on her for no other reason except that I want to spare her the pain and struggles I have gone through in life because of my over the top emotions or the need to share every opinion I have and I have MANY! It breaks my heart when I see in her face the hurt I have caused or a missed opportunity to show grace.

Recently Father God has been showing me how hungry my little girl is for my approval, my love, my affection. This cut me to the core for nothing compares to the love I have for my children. It broke me to think that my baby may not know how amazing I think she is or how much I love her! How highly I think of this little girl who has been known to eat a booger or two! As I just wrote that I am overcome with the thought that perhaps Father God was speaking that over his own little girl. How it must break His heart that I don't realize how much He loves me in spite of the boogers I eat.

After a particularly trying moment of correction Malinda was crumbling into an emotional mess which usually leads to a verbal attack on herself. I scooped her up and sat her on the sofa with myself and turned her so we were face to face. I then proceeded to speak love and encouragement into her. I expressed to her how much I love and value her as my daughter and as my little sister. I could literally see power of these words in her life. Everything about her relaxed and stared sponging it all up. By the end her eyes were dry and mine weren't.

It was after this that it seemed so clear. The way Rob treats his daughter will affect how she interacts with others. She will look for others to treat her as special as her Dadddy treats her. She will look for someone to be there jsut as he is always there for her and of course she will look for others to make her laugh like only daddy can. She will even approach Father God much in the way she approaches her own daddy. But it's the way I treat her that will effect how she sees herself. If I am always harsh on her she sees that she is not good enough. If I am too busy she sees that she is not important enough. If I am not tender she sees she is not precious.

What an awesome opportunity to raise a little girl to become a woman who knows who she is. To help her see herself the way her Father God sees her. I have no control over her journey but I sure can help her pack for the trip. I plan on filling her backpack with all the love, encouragement and wisdom that I can!

So Not Ready!

I reached a new level of craziness tonight....I actually cried because I began thinking about sending Malinda to preschool this year. I mean it is the beginning of the end isn't it? Sure this year it's only 2 1/2 hours 3 days a week but next year it will be 5 days a week and then she will be in 1st grade and forget it- she'll be gone! She won't be my baby anymore. (sob sob sob)

I just can't explain how Malinda has always felt like an extension of me and I can not imagine not having her around forever! I am not ready for Preschool! How sad is that?! Maybe I should home school her forever. Don't even get me started at the idea of other children not being nice to her! huh! Now Sam, I often wonder who he belongs to and when is someone coming to pick him up. Noooo, I am kidding - well about the picking him up part. He is so fascinating to me because he seems so foreign to me- he is such a boy! But Malinda- oh, my Malinda! She is my sweet girl who never stops talking and telling me how much she loves me!

I am beginning to think I may have a harder time with this than she will. Oh man, I am so not ready for preschool!

My Girl

Today, well I guess yesterday now, we celebrated my girl's 4th birthday. I can hardly believe she is 4 now. It seems like just yesterday I was planning for her arrival. and now she is no longer a baby but a beautiful, spirited little girl. I can truly say that the happiest time of my life was when she came into our lives. She was the answer to years of prayer and she did not disappoint!

We started the day by bringing her a breakfast of a blueberry muffin and cup of milk to her while she was still in bed. She lit up as her Daddy and I came into the room singing and got her all set up. She listened patiently as I told her the story of her birth and giggled as I talked about her having non stop hiccups while in my tummy. I reminded her that she is an answer to many prayers and that we had to wait so long for her because Father God was making her extra special.



The rest of the day was full of doing all of her special things. We ran from library time to Toys R Us to Chuck E Cheese back home for a special dinner of noodles with white sauce (which I made from scratch and she decided she likes the icky jar stuff better so she ate a PB&J sandwich instead.) followed up with ice cream from the farm down the road. It was a very busy but fun filled day in which all day I was replaying in my head the 30+ hours of labor I was going through 4 years ago. The crazy thing is that I long for that experience again. That going to the hospital and not sure what is going to happen over the next few hours as you work to give birth. That knowing that all this pain is going to lead to the most incredible experience of my life. Even in those hours of pain and worry, which ultimately ended with an emergency C-section that had me under general anaesthesia and baby out in less than 10 minutes, I knew I was doing this all for baby. I welcomed it all because it was all an answer to prayer. Father God had remembered me and blessed me with Malinda Kristina Franklin.



I love that her birthday will always remind me of how I fell to my knees praising God after seeing those life telling two lines on the pee stick! I will always sing His praises and rehearse to my child (even to her eyes rolling at me as she hears it over and over again) the story of her birth and remind her that she is a walking example of God's love and power! This girl has a purpose in life and I am blessed and challenged to be the one to help her get ready for that purpose. It's not always easy and it's a lot of work but just as I knew that the pain of labor was leading up to something beautiful and there was NOTHING that I wouldn't do to get my baby born i know that all this work of raising her is leading up to a beautiful birth of a woman who, to me will always be my apple cheeked chatterbox, but to the world will be a beautiful powerful woman of God's Purpose!

Keep your eye on the prize, Amy, your in for a long ride of labor but in the end it will be a memory you will long for!

Family Nights

We have designated Friday nights as Family night in our house. We started because Rob was going to school at night and this was his one night at home during the week. So, we usually eat pizza and watch a movie. Some nights it's great and others it's another crazy night in our house.

Malinda LIVES for family night! In fact she lives for any special time with anyone who is special to her. I'll talk about her love of girl time another time. So, anyway this past Friday we gather around the table for another round of pizza. Instead of a movie we decided to roast marshmallows in our fireplace and then play hide and seek.

As we are waiting for daddy to roast us the perfect marshmallow, which for me is slightly brown and toasty on the outside and all gooey inside! I ask Malinda if she knows why have these Family Nights. She says to me, "Yes, because we are being the church- we are having church all by ourselves." When I ask her what it means to be the church she said "It's where we learn about God".

Wow! My little girl is getting it! She understands that church is not a place but it's people! It's who we are and when we gather together as a family we are "having" church. As we eat pizza and run around the house. As we spend time together and talk about God we are being the church and my little 3 1/2 year old gets it. That makes my heart dance!