You Don't Always Have to Be Swallowed by a Big Fish to Have a Jonah Moment

When we were looking for a place of our own this past winter I really had my heart set on living in one city as much of our life is in that direction. No matter how hard we tried it never seemed to work out for us. We wound up moving in to our apartment in another city. It's a great apartment just minutes from inlaws which is nice nad closer to Rob's job so it really made sense, even if it wasn't exactly what I wanted. During that same time I prayed that God would show me what He wanted me to do in this season, who was I to share His love with. He clearly showed me that I was to share love with the community I was moving into. It has now been 4 months since I have moved inot my apartment- ask me how many times I have showed love....Zero that's how many! Thus my story....

Sunday night we arrived home from gathering with the church and were met by a group of rowdy kids playing catch in the playground directly below our second floor window. We are beginning to get used tot he noises that go along with having a neighborhood playground in your "yard" so this wasn't an issue, but what was an issue was the ball that kept coming towards our van. (The very van I had been grumbling about all the way home, mind you.)  At my insistence Rob asked the kids to scoot down a ways to be careful of the car which of course as he walked up the stairs I could hear the kids laughing at him and saying unkind things. Well certainly this could not be allowed so I swung open the door to my balcony and proceeded to tell the kids they they needed to move along. HA! Well, let me tell you, I have never seen a mob form so fast and hear more nastiness come out of kids no bigger than 8 years old! I quickly realized whoops this is not what I had planned.

As I sat in my apartment and listened to the hateful things they were saying I felt crushed. Not defeated but crushed and sad. I was sad that I had just taken like 10 steps back in showing love to this community.  A community already riddled with conflict, pain and chaos and I had just added to it. 

Not only had I hurt my chances with these kids but the other neighbors who had watched from their balconies and observed the whole thing. I hadn't yelled at the kids, I didn't use any harsh language but what I did was not listen to them or strive to be a  peacemaker. I had forgotten that being righteous is always more important than being right.

All night long I thought about this and even wondered if they would retaliate against our van which I had so publicly advertised as being mine. I wondered if I would have to duck my head in embarrassment as I took my kids to the playground all knowing that I had brought this on myself and my family.

Rob prayed for me that night and I slept so peacefully even waking before the children the next morning and able to spend sometime in prayer. Asking Father God to forgive me, to change me and to show me how to make this right. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me that I needed to find these kids, at least the leaders, and apologize. I prayed for this opportunity and I have even driven around the complex looking for them the last two days.

Yesterday as I drove home with the kids I saw two boys playing by the back gate and one had gotten his bike stuck on the wrong side of the gate I drove my car up to the gate allowing him to get it free and then hopped out of the car and who was I staring at but into the face of the foulest mouthed boy in the group. As soon as I mentioned the other night his body took the stance of ready to take me on but as soon as I started to apologize his whole countenance changed and he received my apology. Of course I was thankful for his little friend who piped up and said "He's sorry too, you should her all the things he has been saying about you".  I can only imagine!

Anyways, I still have a few girls to talk to, especially the one who was throwing the ball. She has a great pitching arm and would love to tell her so....after I make things right. Now, it's time to close the gap and find ways to bring peace, love and joy to this community.

I may not smell like fish puke or be bleached white but this lesson was a painful one nonetheless. I was told to share His love, I didn't- I suffered because of my own disobedience- now I better go share that Love!