Thoughts on Parenting

Everyday, in my weakness, I fail my kids. I yell too much. I take things personally. I get impatient. I have ridiculous expectations and I model poor behavior by being too emotional. I can go on and on listing all my failures. That is one thing I have always been good at, seeing myself for what I am. An imperfect person with plenty of room to grow.

I used to beat myself up about my parenting. In fact it played a role in being swallowed in depression a couple of years ago. The thought of failing my kids was so great that it left me blind to reality. As I learned to accept my own humanity and how to really bask in God's grace I was able to see that I was not destroying my kids by being human. No, rather I get to show them what it looks like to be real and to make mistakes and how to say I am sorry. I get to show them how to forgive and how to share grace with others. People will always fail them in life. It's better they learn now how to forgive and show grace and how to accept that same forgiveness and grace when they are in need of it. Don't get me wrong, I continue to work on my behavior and I pray desperately they my kids will remember me with grace, but I know that it's not all a loss.