That Expalins It

I love the blog world. Maybe it's because I love hearing other people's ideas and I love "sharing" in people's lives.  There is a blog on just about anything! It can be easy to get lost going from one blog to the next- believe me I have. Most of the blogs I visit are ones on parenting, homeschooling, being a daughter of Father God and an occasional cooking blog. They usually encourage or inspire me- but not lately. No, instead what I feel is inadequate, failing and anxious. I read these blogs and wonder how the heck are these women accomplishing so much? How did they figure out their niche? How are they homeshooling 8 kids, cooking from scratch, memorizing the book of Amos, gardening, preparing a 6 month stockpile while only spending $20 at the grocery store a month all while blogging in a witty and inspirational manner?! I can barely keep up with my two and still don't know what my niche is or whether I have one or if I should.

It's not just the blogs that have been making me feel restless. In fact I have been finding myself wondering what is next for me. What is it that I am supposed to pursue? I am homeschooling my daughter more our of need than passion and I no longer have the framework of ministry to help me plan my next step. Do I go back to school? Do I start a business? Do I volunteer? Although I am really content with life here in Southeast Texas I am finding myself feeling restless and I am not sure why?

Oh wait what is that I see hanging on my kitchen wall? Is that a calendar? A beautiful calendar full of family pictures and if I look closely what do I see? I see that May is coming to a close and that means we are entering June soon. June- the 6th month of the year. The sixth month of my six month season of just being- not doing. So, does that explain it? Am I beginning to feel not restless but the stirring of new things to come? The beginnings of hearing what Father God is stirring within me? I believe it is. I believe it is my spirit responding to God's timing for this season I am in. Perhaps instead of grabbing at things as I tend to do I will begin to open myself to what the Father has for me.

So, until I know what it is that I am to be doing I am going to slowly allow myself to just give. Give of myself and see what it is that the Father is leading me to in the coming season.