Everyone said the first year of marriage was going to be the hardest, but it wasn't. In fact it was pretty easy. The hardest years were years 2-12. A whole decade of struggles and selfishness and wasted time. I am currently in year 13 (7 months into it I might add) and everything has changed. Somehow I feel that we are back at the starting point. Remembering why we love each other.
How did I get so sidetracked? How did things get so cloudy?
When I was in college the school held a retreat for the single students. I didn't want to go as I was currently promised to someone else and didn't feel it applied to me, but I went and something stuck out to me. I remember one of my professors speaking to us about when she first got married. She spoke about how young and immature she was and how much her husband had to put up with when they were newlyweds. She talked about not being in a hurry to marry so young but waiting to grow first. I don't remember why this stuck out to me at the time but today I say AMEN! I had sooooo much growing up to do.
Rob has truly endured more than his fair share of me while I have tried to grow up. So much time wasted. Wasted on ridiculous things.
I hold on tighter these days and give thanks to the Father more frequently for the most amazing gift of Rob. He is far from perfect but he is most definitely perfect for me and I am thankful for him.
If only I hadn't wasted so much time. I may have wasted one decade but I look forward to the coming decades and pray I can show him just how much I love and cherish him.
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